intuyu - I agree that we might need a warning about stackable headers at the top of the instructions but we do clearly state at the header step on every shield instruction page
"Note: If you are using stackable headers, use them here instead of the standard male headers."
As far as it not coming with them, we tried to make it clear through the campaign and after that stackable headers were not included with any kits, only standard male headers were. This was to keep costs down, it would have added $1.50 to each kit. Whether they are required for a particular kit completely depends on the application - for example I have a EEPROM temperature logger where I put the temp sensor on a proto shield with stackable headers and the EEPROM has normal headers and is above it - I did this because then the EEPROM board helps shield the temp sensor from drafts. Every project is different, and since the goal is to make electronics cheaper, we try not to include expensive parts that might not be needed. Standard male headers cost about 3 cents for comparison.
And if i desaulder and use the stackable headers from my other digisparks they still wont fit in the digispark that also has stackable headers.....
I'm not sure I understand this - I think you may be confusing stackable headers with female headers
These are female headers - not stackable headers - for use on the Digispark itself:
https://s3.amazonaws.com/digispark/images/m/digispark2.jpgThese are stackable headers for use on sheilds, so they can plug into a digispark and allow another shield to be attached on top:
https://s3.amazonaws.com/digispark/headers.jpgNotice the much longer pins on the stackable ones that extend through the board.
I have no idea what to do
My suggestions would be: get some stackable ones and try to replace the ones you have soldered or get a proto kit and stackable ones and use it in between. Or get a piece of perf board and make some sort of adapter to connect two shields - you could also do this on a breadboard for free.
Can I put stackable headers along with the male headers at the same time?
You can stack shields with stackable headers with a shield with regular male headers on the top of the stack.